• Feeling like a fat piece of shit? Don’t worry, the weeks, possibly months worth of days and sleepless nights occupied by crying and worrying paired with an inability to eat will make that extra weight just drop off you!
• People will totally be attracted to the fact that you’re a ~sexy, dangerous psycho grrl~.
• You can achieve that seductive kohl eyes effect without any effort due to the fact your piece-of-shit eyeliner will be smudged by tears every few hours!
• Don’t let people tell you your fantasies are unhealthy, fantasizing about different ways to mutilate your worthless ex will significantly improve your self-defense abilities!
• Just because the messy-haired, my-mental-institution-set-me-free-prematurely look isn’t in this season, it doesn’t mean you can’t use it to knock ‘em dead. Work it gurl!
• Going camping? Burn all that trash he gave you to make a campfire of loathing! Pretty!
• This is a journey of ~self discovery~, you’ll learn many valuable life lessons such as “I’ll puke if I eat two whole tubs of ice cream”, “cheap-ish red wine doesn’t mix well with other alcohol”, “people will think you’re a stoner if you leave the house wearing your pyjama bottoms with puffy red eyes” and “sitting in bed all day watching In The Night Garden wishing you’ll have a heart attack because of The Ninky Nonk isn’t a valid form of suicide”!

 So don’t be put off by that event that will cripple your social skills for years to come, optimize it and you too can be a ~~~sexy beast who can please her man~~~ just like this! That piece of shit will never cheat again!